


Can't Go Back, I'm Haunted

by Mellybear



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, F/F, Rilaya, Romance, why must I depress my queer children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 07:05:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8788273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mellybear/pseuds/Mellybear
Summary: Breaking up is hard to do. Especially when you're the class it-couple.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Maya's POV is kinda like Taylor's Back to December and Riley's is like Taylor's Haunted. I'm T-Swift, Rilaya trash.

It all started when Riley walked into class alone. Everyone stood in a state of shock, including her own father as she sat down at her desk and folded her hands neatly.  
“Hey Riley...” Farkle said cautiously. “Where's Maya?” Her smile only faltered for a second before returning in a forced fashion.  
“She said she wanted to sleep in today.” Riley said softly.  
“So she skipped walking with you for skipping first period?” Lucas asked leaning forward to her.  
“I guess so Lucas.” She said the edge in her voice cutting into him. Leaving no one with time to respond Maya walked in, not even five minutes having passed since Riley entered.  
“How much extra sleep could she have possibly gotten?” Farkle asked watching her whisk by.  
“Peaches...” Riley said staring at her girlfriend's back as she walked away. The whole class watched dumbstruck as the shorter girl continued to her seat without a word. Riley turned to the front of the class wordlessly with a concerned look at her father. His only response was a shrug as the bell rang, and attempting to divert stares by starting class.

  
Riley and Maya had been attached at the hip since they were kids, but it was their Sophomore year that Maya realized her eyes would stray to the wrong places for a friend to look and Riley noticed her hands lingering for longer and longer when they were alone. Maya noted her taste for boys was long gone when she realized the thing all the boys had in common was their connection to Riley. It wasn't until the Homecoming game that the two were huddled in the bleachers that something struck them. Despite their friends sitting on the sidelines mere feet away, and their entire school crowded behind them, the two leaned into each other to kiss. Zay noticed first, nudging Lucas who was next to him to take a look. They were both surprised, but they still managed to feel overwhelming pride in the girls. Farkle came back from the snack shack with Smackle and cracked a grin. He'd known all along of course. The rest of the students began their whispers not long after.

  
Fast forward a few months shy of a year and everyone was whispering once again, this time wondering what could have possibly happened to the happiest couple on earth. Riley approached Maya at her locker after class and did nothing but stare.  
“Would you quit looking at me like that?” Maya snapped suddenly.  
“Like what?” Riley asked taken aback.  
“Like some math problem you can't figure out.” She reached into the cold locker for a book before slamming it shut. The metallic noise deafened Riley.  
“I just don't understand what's wrong, peaches...” Riley whispered. She stood, her shoulders sagged, like a sad puppy and Maya felt a wave of annoyance rather than her usual sympathy.  
“I just wanted to walk to school like a normal person for once.” Maya said keeping her voice low so the ears in the walls wouldn't hear. She knew everyone was going to be prying into her life right now.  
“What do you mean?” Riley asked, her chocolate eyes full of worry.  
“I mean,” Maya took a breath realizing her voice was raising too high. “I mean, I didn't want people to stare at me, or move their kids away from me, or make gross comments at me.” Riley quickly understood what she meant. Just because the school worshipped how in love the girls were, didn't mean everyone did. Riley slid her hand down, grasping Maya's.  
“But peaches, those people just don't-,”  
“Yeah I know.” Maya cut her off. “They don't understand.” Maya's voice was mocking, invoking Riley’s tone. Riley pulled her hand away as if she'd suddenly been burned.  
“I'm just trying to help.” Riley whispered tears filling her eyes. “You don't have to be so mean.”  
“Well I don't want them to understand Riley!” Maya shouted as if she didn't hear a word. Everyone turned to look at the scene unfolding in the hallway. Riley jumped at the sudden change in volume.  
“Look, I'm just...” Maya took a breath. “I'm just tired you know? I don't want this anymore...” Riley gasped slightly and covered her mouth like she was watching a horror scene unfold on the big screen.  
“Are you...?” She couldn't slip the words out. She never dreamed in a million years Maya would ever... Riley thought they were going to get married someday. She had been sure of it.  
“Yes.” Maya whispered. Her eyes had turned down to the floor staring at an imaginary speck.  
“You're breaking up with me... Because of some... Internalized homophobia?” Riley said her voice shaking, but furious.  
“Don't use words you found on the internet.” Maya sighed heavily, sounding more like an exasperated mother by the minute. “I'm doing this... For us.” She said. Riley began sobbing as she spoke.  
“But I love you, Maya.” She cried. “You're my everything.” Maya didn't want a scene like this, but it was too late. She just needed to cut the tether and run.  
“You'll understand someday...” Was all she could really mumble before hurrying away. Riley stood, tears continuing to fall down her face as she walked away. Everyone in the hall just stared, unsure of what to do. Everyone but Farkle. He quickly rushed to Riley’s side the second he could, wrapping an arm around her and leading her away from the congestion of the hallway.

  
The two sat in the hole they were once confined to, it was the quietest place Farkle could think of for the time being. The two sat on the cold floor against the wall furthest from sight.  
“I don't understand.” Riley repeated. Her sobs had stopped, and her tears had slowed, but she was still shaking. All she'd said since Farkle swept her away were those few words.  
“I'm sure she'll come around.” Farkle insisted firmly planted next to her. His arm was wrapped protectively around her as Riley held her knees to her chest. He couldn't guarantee in anyway Maya would come around, he didn't even understand what had happened. But he wasn't even sure Riley did.  
“Can we just sit here Farkle?” Riley whispered suddenly. “I don't really wanna go to class.” Farkle was surprised by his own reflex to agree instantly. He wasn't one for skipping class, but this was for Riley.  
“Of course.” He said his voice gravely. Riley laid her head on his shoulder, and not long after her tears stopped, she was asleep. Farkle just stared up, dumbfounded by what could have happened.

  
“What the hell, Maya?” A voice demanded amidst the silent hallway. Everyone had gone off to their classes, except the blonde beauty and huckleberry.  
“Leave me alone Lucas.” Maya choked out, not even turning to face him. She'd been heading for the front door of the school to make her escape.  
“No way.” Lucas said, his voice carrying a growl to it. “Do you have any idea what you just did?” He demanded throwing his arm out as if the gesture covered the whole morning.  
“Of course I do.” Maya said turning around slowly her boots dragging on the tile.  
“I don't think you do!” He said angrily. “You broke her heart!” Lucas knew this wasn't his place, but if not his, the the really wasn't sure whose.  
“Yeah.” Maya said voice hard as stone. “But she'll get over it.” Maya wanted to leave on that, but Lucas would never have it.  
“Do you even hear yourself right now!?” He demanded grabbing her arm to face her back to him. “How could you do that to Riley?”  
“I did it for her.” Maya said a crack in her voice forming.  
“What are you-,”  
“Shut up and let me talk.” She snapped. “Riley thinks she can just make any bad thing go away with a smile.” Maya said a hint of envy in her voice. Lucas couldn't argue that, but he still didn't understand.  
“But I saw it. I saw all of it.” Maya whispered. “People stared, they whispered, they cursed.” Lucas’ grip on Maya started slipping.  
“People wanted to hurt her.” Maya said, the first tears slipping out of her eyes. Lucas stared his mouth agape. He had questions, but he stayed quiet.  
“I couldn't let them hurt her...” Maya said taking a shaky breath. “Because of me.” Lucas felt like he'd been hit by a truck as the two stood, feeling frozen in time.  
“You broke her heart, so some assholes wouldn't be assholes?” Lucas asked flabbergasted.  
“I broke her heart, so the world wouldn't do it.” Maya said starting for the door again. This time Lucas let her go, his arm finally falling away.

 

  
It took weeks for Riley to stop crying. Farkle was her crutch when she needed him. And she needed him always. It took months for her to feel okay. She could be by herself and not be struck with crippling loneliness. Her family was understanding when she didn't want to eat meals with them, or wen she wanted to skip school. Eventually a new school year started and Riley felt almost whole, entering her junior year. She always had Farkle, and Smackle even. Lucas had left her side in favor of Maya and with him Zay went. But she understood. Maya needed them more anyway.

  
Maya was broken from start to finish. She gave up the love of her life, watched her grow and heal from afar, secretly hoping she would turn to look and see her dying inside. But she didn't. Farkle never got the story, because he couldn't leave Riley for even a second. But that was okay, Maya figured he'd just spill the beans anyway. Lucas and Zay were there for her as best as they could be. But the day Riley removed her friendship ring was still earth shattering.

  
The two girls grew in different directions. Riley continued to spread her branches up, reaching the flowers that would blossom to fruit up to the sun. And Maya's roots sunk deeper and deeper, sticking her further in the hole. Riley somehow grew into her gangly self, moving with grace now. She was less like a fawn learning to walk on its legs, and now she was a doe. Maya changed too, she got taller, and her hair got darker but other than that, she still held herself with power. Like an Amazonian warrior.

  
Maya tried boys, she tried and tried and tried boys. But eventually she figured out she only wanted girls. Or really, she only wanted Riley.

  
Riley found that she liked boys, and she liked girls. Riley liked everyone really. She was Riley after all. So she spent a better part of the year dating and kissing on and off figuring what she liked. She knew she preferred blondes.

  
Maya had trouble forming relationships. All the way up until Senior year she would lead innocent brunettes into her darkness, before pushing them away. She wasn't trying to be a womanizer, it was just that none of the girls were right. They were tall, they were brunette, they had brown eyes. They could have everything, and yet still Maya couldn't get past a single night with them.

  
Riley was no virgin, she had Maya to thank for that. But she never got past chaste kisses before she parting ways with her suitors. But senior year changed things. Riley had grown close to Chai, the girl who had once hated her. They'd clicked at Riley's favorite “hipster” cafe when they'd ordered the same drink and both tried to take it. Riley of course let her have it, despite the fact she'd ordered first, and Chai waited around with her before they headed to school together.

  
Maya heard the whispers, of course she did. But she ignored them, because she was sure these sheep couldn't know a thing about what was really happening. It wasn't until Lucas asked her about Chai that she even gave it a thought. But after that, she couldn't stop the thoughts.

  
Riley didn't really think it was possible to click with someone so instantly. Sure there had been Maya but her romantic feelings took years to blossom. But it seemed like from day one Riley was infatuated with Chai. Maybe it wasn't love, and it certainly wasn't the same. But she really felt something. It had only taken a year, but it hit Riley like a rock.

  
Turns out, Chai was alternative. But in a cool way, that Riley could mesh with. She drank hipster coffees, ate at total dives only real foodies knew, she even went to clubs sometimes. Her clothes were always a step ahead of the trends and she was hot. Maya couldn't have been more jealous. She wished she was like her. And she wished she had Riley.

  
Chai and Riley did everything together, and their first kiss was in the middle of a rainstorm. Riley felt like she was in a movie that was never going to end and Chai was her costar. She could banter with Farkle and flirted playfully with Smackle. She smelled like coffee grounds and Riley loved it even though she thought coffee was too bitter. Chai held Riley’s hand in front of everyone and kissed her like she wasn’t afraid of anything. And best of all, she made Riley feel like a princess.

  
Maya stared from across the hallway, that’s how it always was with Riley and Maya, she stared while Riley chittered on and on. Except for the past two years she was chittering to someone else, the newest someone was Chai, previously called what’s-her-name. She left a bad taste in Maya’s mouth. Didn’t she see people stare at them? Didn’t she want to protect Riley from their hateful words? Why couldn’t Riley date a boy? But Maya watched as Chai leaned forward to whisper something, scooping Riley’s wavy hair behind her ear as she did. Riley smiled bashfully, staring down at her feet as Chai whispered. Maya would kill to hear what she was saying to make Riley smile like that. The way she smiled for her once. Riley laughed and said something back to Chai before placing a peck on her lips. That hurt.... Oh boy that hurt. Maya didn’t want to see anymore. Riley was happy, and Maya had given up the love of her life for no damn reason. But at least she was happy.

  
The one time Maya wanted to hide from Riley’s gaze was the time she decided to look. Maya slinked out of the hallway, looking hollow and defeated. Riley had for two years stared straight ahead while Maya’s eyes bored into the back of her head. Riley didn’t know why Maya hated her so much. She never knew what she did to be dropped like a rock because everything became too much for Maya. She never even found the tipping point.  
“Riley?”  
“Hmmm?” Riley wasn’t fazed by Chai’s intrusive words as she continued to watch Maya’s fading form.  
“Are you listening to me?” Chai asked turning to follow her gaze.  
“Of course, peaches.” Riley mumbled.  
“Peaches?” Chai asked. That snapped Riley out of her hazy thoughts. “That’s a new one. What happened to Pookie?” Her girlfriend was smiling at her. She hadn’t been caught.  
“Just testing new things...” Riley mumbled avoiding Chai’s loving look. She knew she’d break if she met her puppy dog eyes. “I don’t think that one’s going to work.” Riley said a twinge of guilt and sadness in her voice.  
“Well I still like pookie.” Chai said kissing Riley briefly. She took her hand to start walking Riley home.  
“Yeah...” Riley nodded. “Pookie is okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. This looked like it was going to go Riarkle and Lucaya but homie don't play that game. 
> 
> Likes and comments are cool and thanks for reading m8s.


End file.
